Robinson Crusoe Review

      Many people regard Daniel Defoe's Robinson Crusoe as a classic and a great piece of literature. I think these people are lunatics. The reason his name is Defoe is because only one's greatest enemy would inflict such tedious torture upon an unsuspecting readers.
     The first problem is the main character, for whom the book is named, is a psycho. He manages to get lucky enough to be removed from the world, with none of its annoying inhabitants to deal with. Once happily established on his island, however, he wastes time helping people and trying to escape. Ridiculous. His religious rantings and constant thanking of Divine Providence get rather old as well.
     The dialogue is also terrible. Crusoe's main companion, Friday (what the hell kind of name is that?) speaks English, but only in the most stereotypical broken dialect possible. He also goes from being a cannibal to being a God-fearing Christian, all because of the great prophet Robinson's speeches. A likely story.
     The plot is predictable enough. He gets rescued, makes it back to England, and lives a jolly life.
     Lastly, the entire book is in one chapter! Not having anywhere to stop, I read the entire thing in a single sitting, although I think that one may be my own fault.


   

     Final verdict: 4/10. Wouldn't recommend.


     You worms care to disagree? Comment below.